Have you ever tried something new only to come to the profound realization,
"Wow, I suck at this."
That was me trying to learn another language. Except the sucking persisted long after the initial suck.
The sucking got so bad my teacher came to me one day and suggested I switch classes and try sucking less at something else.
But no, not me and my straight-A inflated ego. I would conquer this subject like every other subject in school.
"Look at this face, Mr. Garcia.
Does this look like the face of a quitter to you?"
In other words, I spent the rest of my high school career taking sadistic self-torture classes known as Español.
And failed miserably.
6 years later and my ego is still bruised. However, I can’t seem to kill off this romantic in me that dreams of wandering the countryside of Spain, effortlessly conversing with my taxi driver and making small talk to the kind Spanish gentleman at the local bakery.
So the question remains, how does this little white girl go from gringo to the cultured fluent bilingual she dreams to be?
Well, I sure as heck know what doesn't work.
Tell me I have to go to the same classroom everyday bored to death. Sit me in a chair and force me to listen to a teacher talk about conjugations. Hand me back a quiz filled with red slashes that makes me feel like crap for even trying.
No thanks.
"Well, that’s what it takes, discipline and dedication.”
Here's the thing, I did “discipline and dedication” for THREE YEARS and guess who has two thumbs and can’t hold a single conversation with a Spanish speaking second grader?
That’s not to say you can’t learn a language that way. I just can’t.
So what do we do?
Well in my 24 long years on this earth I've learned a thing or two *puffs pipe* and one of them is this.
To learn, you have to stick with, and to stick with, you have to love the process.
So I think we have to start with what we love.
For me, I’m deeply curious. I love trying to new things, music, dancing, podcasts, documentaries, blah blah blah.
So this is what we are going to do. We are going to learn Spanish and we are going to have a damn good time doing it.
Grandma, I'm sorry for cussing but I needed to do it for effect.
And here's how:
1. We will not have deadlines.
We will not be beating ourselves up if we are not fluent in 3 months or even 3 years. No shame will be allowed in this journey because shame kills learning.
2. We start now.
No “Someday I’d love to learn another language”
or,
“I’m just going to get myself nice looking bilingual spouse. We’ll take oversees romantic trips, have a cute little bilingual kid and a nice little bilingual golden retriever in our cute little bilingual house.”
Nope, you.
Not you someday or you this next summer, but you today.
Start.
3. We'll find a killer Spotify playlist.
One that makes us believe we are actually Shakira. We’ll learn not just with our heads but our hips and our highly exclusive living room dance parties.
Senorita, feel the conga. Let me see you move like you come from Colombia.
4. Nerd out.
Get techy. We'll download apps and games to learn the language.
You know when your playing monopoly and the person forfeits right before you have the satisfaction of bankrupting them for all their worth.
It's not like that at all, but I just want to publicly say that those people are the worst.
5. Netflix marathons.
We’ll binge-watch our favorite movies and tv shows en Espanol. With subtitles unless it's The Office or Friends in which case do we even really need them?
6. Get pinning.
We’ll Pinterest dreamy Spanish speaking vacations we can plan so that we have motivation to learn.
Your midterm exam?
Costa Rica.
7. Be present.
We’ll use the people around us.
We are always meeting interesting new people in life without hardly realizing it, at the grocery store, at work, getting your oil changed, the dear local saint that makes your California burritos.
We’ll be present with them. Get to know them. Ask them if they speak another language. We might be able to practice something we learned or see if they can teach us a phrase or two.
We will let life be our teacher and we'll let it be a journey that takes however long it needs to take.
Could it be a phase? Yes. So what? We’ll do it anyways.
There you have it. That's my plan to learn Spanish. I’m not sure if it will work but I'm excited to try.
And that’s how I know it will be worth doing because for the first time I am looking forward to the process, not just the destination.
If you’re even just the slightest bit intrigued by the idea of learning something new, try it.
You never know what could happen. Who knows, you might actually be able to teach yourself a new trick if you stop cracking the whip and try having a little fun.
So start planning that trip to Barcelona and buena suerte to us both!
(Yes, I had to look that up on Google translate. It means good luck.)
Update: I got a lesson from a kind girl at El Delicioso Burrito yesterday. She even wrote me homework to take home on my receipt.
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